Yesterday I told you about my choice to cheat my family. Today I want to talk about why.

First, I think it’s important to realize we have this choice. Everyday YOU get to choose what you’re cheating. I can’t blame this on anyone else. I can’t blame this on my job or my boss. This is MY choice.

I’m choosing to cheat my family for a variety of reasons…

I cheat because I get lazy. In this particular case I allowed a bunch of meetings to pile up and did not take the time to realize how this was going to impact my family life. These meetings could have easily been spread out, but instead I approved each and every one of them rather than finding an alternative to cheating my family.

I cheat because it’s easy. While I have plenty of people saying they need my time or they need my presence here or there, my family is quietly sitting at home waiting for me to choose to engage with them. A lot of time we cheat our family simply because we mistakenly think we can.

I cheat because I forget. I forget that home is the one place where I’m irreplaceable. I realized a long time ago that I’m totally replaceable as the pastor of Cross Point Church. If something happened to me tomorrow they could and would go out and find a new senior pastor.

The reality is I’m the only husband my wife has. I’m the only father my kids have. When I’m not there nobody else is doing what God has called me to do in the context of my family. So when I cheat my family they pay a much greater price than if I were to cheat whatever church or organization I might be serving.

I cheat because I rather be loved than love. This is a BIG one and I need to spend some more personal time processing this.  Most of us get quite few accolades for the hard work we put in at the office. When I work 15 hour day I often feel a great sense of accomplishment. I love the high risk decisions, the writing under pressure, and the raw excitement of ministry. In fact, being loved for doing ministry can be exhilarating and addictive. It feeds my ego. This is why so many people end up with an inflated ego and a deflated family. Doesn’t sound like a very good trade off to me.

So do you know why you’re cheating whomever or whatever your cheating?

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