We’ve been in this series at Cross Point entitled Baggage. We’ve been talking about the emotional baggage we all carry from relationship to relationship. This baggage keeps us from loving in the way we’ve been called and created to love.
Yesterday we talked about the baggage of betrayal and abandonment.
We all have a trust-meter. Every time you interact with another person your trust-meter goes up or down based on a set of factors that would include such things as the person’s truth-telling record, their commitment keeping pattern, their confidentiality, their consistency in character, etc.
All of this happens subconsciously. So when you have a friend that gossips about another one of your friends or doesn’t show when they say they’ll show or you catch them in a lie, your trust-meter goes down.
When your trust-meter goes down the natural tendency is to begin to withdraw. And generally the further we withdraw the more suspicious we become. This almost always either stunts or at least redefines the relationship.
Now some of you need to realize your trust-meter is broken. It’s giving you false readings. Because of the baggage from your past your trust-meter is all jacked up.
So what do you do? The wise person when confronted with a relationship where the trust meter is headed south will engage instead of withdraw. You need to engage in that relationship and sit down and talk about the issues. Tell them about the doubts creeping into your mind and heart. Find out if there is actually betrayal going on or if you’re getting false readings.
So tell me. Do you have problem trusting other people? Do you think your trust meter gives you false readings from time to time? What are you doing about it?